Mommy with Multiple Sclerosis - talking about the Elephant in the room

We took our hope from Cape of Good Hope

MS Risk for the baby? Yes, sure, we thought about this. for a long time, really. We researched in detail and part of my Bachelor's degree in Psychology ( "The relationship between disease perception and life quality with Multiple Sclerosis") was focused on analyzing pregnancy risk.

"Research conclusions were that Multiple Sclerosis is triggered by environmental factors, for people with genetic predisposition. (Jelinek, G., 2010, p. 61). 
Although for people with MS this may seem scary taking into consideration the probability to transmit the disease to descendants, researchers mention that the disease is triggered only when people have high susceptibility and the environmental factors are critical. 
So,  for parents who worry that their descendants will inherit the disease, the potential does exist but in the same time, a healthy life style is reducing significantly the chances that the disease ever appears. The Canadian researcher in MS, George Ebers, estimates that the environmental factors impact can by modified, preventing the disease to be triggered at 80% of the cases
. (Jelinek, G., 2010, p. 63)
(Țurlea Florența, 2018,  "The relationship between disease perception and life quality with Multiple Sclerosis")

-good sign  when quoting from my own work :))

Talking about the disease transmission risk, according to the info presented here, the risk is for 1 of 67 parents to transmit the disease.

We thought about this for a long time, and at the foundation of our decision was that the genetic factors, according to the studies, are not 100% responsible for the disease. My parents didn't have MS, and from the information I have now, no one ever did in my family.
The environment is a huge component and also life quality (a stressful environment is a critical factor not only for Multiple Sclerosis).

For lots of people, this risk is too high and each of us have our reasons. We decided to take this risk, we are fully dedicated to offer the best for our child and to the question "Are you not afraid?", we can answer sincerely YES. We are afraid of course, AND we are choosing not to leave this fear guide our life. We take responsibility for our decision and we know we don't have (at least not yet) reasons to worry.

About stress... (which from my point of view was an important reason of my diagnostic)... I know we will do everything we can to protect our child from any type of sufferance, same as any parent who loves her child would. In the same time, we know we won't be able to be near her every second, or for that matter, in her shoes. And at this point we are hoping that the education we will offer - especially the emotional education - to protect and teach her how to manage the critical moments as best as possible.  

Because in my experience, advises as "Don't worry, it will pass" and "You NEED to be strong" were not very helpful in managing my life with Multiple Sclerosis. More than this, I see around me patients with MS following these advises, denying reality, but sadly, every relapse cracks their "bubble of hope", risking depressions, anxiety etc.
What I believe it's significantly different between someone who accepted their diagnostic and manages it accordingly, and someone who lives to fight with the disease, is the simple fact that for the last ones they need to fight EVERY DAY. One won't ever stop fighting with a chronic disease. And then, what happens with the joy of life? With plans? With all the love one doesn't have energy for, as all is focused in this useless fight with the disease, with life? The disease is now part of us. When we fight it, we fight ourselves.

This doesn't mean to give up hope. Anything that helps us is recommended. It was just my experience that forced me to find alternatives, and things I can hold on to when there's nothing to hold on.

Someone told me that if I wasn't supposed to become pregnant, I wouldn't have. Anyway, not so quickly. And nowadays, when doctors, nurses, medical trained people encourage you, as an MS patient, to have a child, I'm really thinking we can do this.

What's important is that this child will be born out of love, and she will be the most loved child in the whole world! <3

Love,

Florența